News Flash-World Keeps Spinning-Story at 10 Wednesday, Sep 25 2013 

Complaints and Humor and Musing and Whatever , , , , kwlaff 6:30 pm

Having now spent over a week answering emails for 1) people who really need help with the new system 2) people who hate change no matter what it is and 3) people who complain because they can, I have decided that the world will continue and nothing will change.  The people that needed help received it.  The people that hate change had change thrust upon them and will adjust or move on.  Keep in mind the last time there was a technology change they hated that system too, and now it is the one they want to flip back to using :).  And the complainers, well, they were killed with kindness and will find another topic to complain about, focus their unhappiness on, and in general continue their unhappy little lives.  Live is too short to worry about them.

During my lifetime, I’ve dealt with different types of issues and problems, one of which was mother in law’s demenita, which I detailed in my postings in this blog and when my brother in law wasted away from lung cancer in front of our eyes.  Currently both my parents have aging issues and there are plenty of real life, personal stresses on me.   That, my friends, is when times are tough and you dig deep, not when online banking rejects your password at 3am.  Seriously, is that the worst thing that has ever happened to you?  Because your reaction seems a bit over the top…..just sayin’.  (In case you don’t get that last part, it was sarcastic.)

So kick back, eat some ice cream, smile.  I’m going too, as soon as I answer all these bleeping emails.

 

People Hate Change! Get A Grip on Yourselves Saturday, Sep 21 2013 

Complaints and Musing and Whatever , , , , , , , , , kwlaff 9:57 pm

I am continually surprised at how perfectly fine people think it is ok to rant via email.

When you email a business to complain about something, like a change in product, or something you are not happy about in general, do you not realize that someone at the other end (not management) has to read what you’ve written?  It is someone’s job to respond in a pleasant, professional manner to your completely unprofessional behavior?  Do you think cussing and calling them stupid makes their day?  If you were standing in line at the counter would you act like that or  is it because you are sitting in your living room with your laptop, tablet or phone?  Have some manners people.   I’m not saying you cannot complain, but be constructive.  “IT SUCKS”  doesn’t help anyone solve an issue, if you are indeed even having an issue with who you are complaining about.

The company I work for recently launched a change in its technology platform that impacted its customers.  We had been putting information out there for weeks talking about the upcoming change, letting people know the exact date, because we know that change can be unsettling.  Each customer would need to complete extra security to navigate the site.  And you know what?  Most customers had no problem handling it.  If they hit a slight snag, they called, emailed or actually read the material we had provided and it was solved in a flash.  But some of the low hanging fruit couldn’t handle any part of it and it was obvious they didn’t try.  Those wonderful group of people emailed messages like ‘what idiot made these changes?’ ….’the new site sucks’…”I can’t believe you would block me from access”……”Why didn’t you tell me this was going to happen?” and I am not even listing all the cuss words people did not even pretend to hide with %&$# and so on.  Instead of spending time helping those that needed help, we had to allocate resources to answering emails and calls from people that were just mean, asinine and deliberately abusive.  While we killed them with kindness, what I wanted to say was:   Can you read?  The world doesn’t revolve around you.  You kiss your mother with that mouth?  Is that how your talk to your children?

As technology has advanced I think society has lost touch with how to be polite and respectful.  I am willing to bet that most of the people that emailed in and acted like jerks, would not it if they were they ones being treated they way.  But then again, that type of person does care about others anyway.  When a 73 year old emails in WTF?  you know the world has changed and not for the better.

 

Relax, Get to It! Thursday, Nov 29 2012 

Beginner Blogs and Musing and Whatever , , kwlaff 6:39 pm

Over the Thanksgiving Holiday I had time to ponder all the things in my life I have to be thankful for, I realized that I need to relax a bit and let myself enjoy all the good things in my life and not stress out about the big and little things that normally stress me out.  And that is so much easier said than done.  Perhaps writing it down will help.  Perhaps not.  Either way, I am writing it down.

I am a worrier.  Always have been, always will be.  I work hard to get what I want. I want things to be right and for everyone to do their part.  When everyone doesn’t do their part, or mayhap the part I think they should do, I tend to tighten up.  If things really go off course and ‘whatever’ is not completed or accomplished, then tighten up is not a strong enough term to describe me.  So it should be no surprise to anyone that knows me at all that stress and worry is a daily part of my life and its impact can spill over onto others around me.

That being said, I can also ‘let things go’ that I cannot control, after putting out a mammoth effort to control it. This is not the same as giving up. If I give it my best and cannot change the outcome, or if other humans are involved and I cannot control the outcome, I can let things go and stop inserting myself into whatever the situation may be.  It is not easy.  And sometimes my tummy will be upset over it.  But I can still relax out of it.  And watch from a distance.  Just in case.

I come by this over worry naturally.  My mother has a syndrome with a name too long to mention that is about being overcautious and worrying that is derived from being a child forced into responsibility too early.  And, while she did not mean to impart this issue to me, years of carefully worded concerns, cautions, warnings and rules, along with sudden air intake and other signs of worry left a deep imprint on me that for years I did not know was there.  My first child status also plays a part I’m sure, as well as being female, as both my younger brothers were not as imprinted as I.  My husband and sons were the ones to point out that my standard goodbye salutation to everyone is always ‘be careful’.  I’d been saying that for years without even knowing it.

But I am getting off point, if I ever had a point, which is relaxing a bit and being thankful.  Because I am thankful for many things in my life.  Some are small and may seem insignificant, but are not.  Some are large and seem significant, but aren’t.  Regardless of the size or the significance, I am lucky to have things for which I am thankful. I have a home, a comfortable life, an old husband (meaning we’ve been together a long time), and things I like to do, I mainly get to do.  I live in a country that allows me the freedoms many females do not get in other countries, and I am thankful for that.  I try not to take it for granted. I have people in my life I love.

As 2012 slides toward the end of existence, relaxation and thankfulness are my goals.  I’ll save the stress for the Fiscal Cliff.

 

Shadow Chase Sunday, Oct 28 2012 

Beginner Blogs and Musing and Whatever , , , kwlaff 1:48 am

Taking off from Denver one afternoon last week, the sky was blue and the sun was shinning.   The plane’s shadow mirrored our moves, skimming over the ground for miles as we climbed, keeping pace with us as we winged our way to Seattle.

I watched the shadow ripple over items on the ground.  It slid over grass, dirt, roads, parking lots, shopping malls, and trees; touching living and inanimate things. It climbed buildings, raced cars, mimicked other planes and covered people; contacting moving and stationary objects.  It passed over a man loading gear into the back of his car. It passed over two of a string of bike riders.  It passed over large tree canopies and was larger than small groupings of newly planted trees.  It raced up the side of a mountain and sped into the valley on the other side.  The shadow created a brief moment of shade where there had been none before and left brightness in its wake.

The higher we went, the harder the shadow tried to stay condensed into the shape of a plane.  Its efforts were not successful as its sharp, recognizable plane edges blurred into an elongated blob and its dark distinctive gray lightened, almost pixelated, as we traveled along.

The cityscape quickly gave way to countryside and the shadow paid no attention, remaining focused on its own agenda.  It skimmed along, touching what it pleased. It raked over the land, watched by me, but apparently invisible to others.  The shadow was not influenced and as it faded away, it left no trace of its existence.  Although it served as a connection between all the things it encompassed after it was created on that sunny Monday afternoon, its touch was benign, leaving no harm in its wake.

 

Doing Nothing & Lovin’ It Monday, Oct 8 2012 

Beginner Blogs and Genealogy and Musing and Whatever , , , kwlaff 11:13 pm

When was the last time you spent a day doing nothing?  It has been a long time for me and that’s what I did today.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zero.  Zilch.  Thank you Federal Holiday, spouse out of town  traveling, and the rest of the gang out of the house day!  Even the cats and dogs kept a low profile.  LOL.  In this day and time when everything is connected and we seem to be on call for work, family and friends 24/7, I actually had a day that was out of touch, disconnected and lazy.

I slept late.  Not an all day thing, just late.  Was up about 9:15.  Might had slept longer but the lawn service didn’t have the day off.  Fed the pets.  I read a book.  Remember those?  Paper thingy with a binding, cover from and back….not electronic downloads or audio recordings.  Even got a little paper cut.  I think I was out of practice.   Reviewed some genealogy stuff.  The 1940 census is indexed ya know.  Watched Ben Affleck give an interview on TV.  He turned 40 this year.  Still looks hot!  Very relaxing to look at. 🙂

Is it really so important that we stay connected every minute?  Or clean the house on a holiday?  I think not.  But then I’m not having deep thoughts today.

 

Gas Station Etiquette-Get Some! Friday, Oct 5 2012 

Beginner Blogs and Complaints and Musing , , , , kwlaff 6:45 pm

One of my least favorite things to do these days is to gas up my car.  I compute about 50 miles one way to work each day, so I am forced to stop by a gas station more frequently than some others might.  And recently, I have encountered a trend that is unpleasant and actually downright rude.  It seems that the public is determined that there is no reason to be courteous of others or consideration of the time spent waiting at gas stations!

Let me describe just a few of the examples, all starting with: Pull into a busy gas station and find a pump that lines up with my gas tank:

1)      One car in front of me at the pump. Brief moment of good feeling. A female in the car.  Is she done?  Getting right to pump?  Can’t tell, so I wait.  It is obvious she is texting on her phone.  I glance at my car clock.  One minute passes. Other cars are moving in their lines. Driver of the car in front of me glances in her rearview mirror, so she knows someone is waiting behind her. Two minutes pass.    The driver of the car in front of me decides she has completed her text conversation and gets out of the car to start pumping her gas, in no rush.  She wanders over to the attendant to pay before pumping and slanders back.  From the time I pulled up until she started pumping her gas, 5 minutes have elapsed.

2)      One car in front of me at the pump.  Young man is pumping gas.  Glances at my car when I pull up.  Finishes his transaction and gets in his car.  Picks up his phone and starts texting.  I glance at my watch.  One minute passes.  He is alternating between texting and reading his phone.  Two minutes pass. He starts his car, clears button on his dashboard, and puts on his seatbelt.  Answers another text.  Puts his foot on the brake (brake lights light up), places his car into gear (back up lights flash). Three minutes pass. Reads another text.  Then pulls away from the pump.

3)      One car in front of me at the pump.  Nozzle already inserted and pumping.  Young man leaning on side of car texting.  Auto fill clicks off.  I hear it from inside my close car and look up. Young man continues to text.  I glance at my clock.  Young man makes no move toward nozzle and continues to text.  I put my car into gear and move forward a bit. Young man continues to text.  One minute passes.  Young man finally reaches for nozzle, removes it while still reading phone screen.  Tries to place it into its holder on pump, and completes an ‘air pass’ because he is still reading his screen.  Second try is successful.  Waits for receipt and texts.  Receipt prints, and flaps in breeze, while he texts.  Two minutes pass.  He reaches for his receipt still reading his phone and texting.  He gets in his car. Puts on his seat belt. Puts his foot on the brake (brake lights light up), places his car into gear (back up lights flash). Reads another text.  Then pulls away from the pump.

4)      Four pump station, two on one side, and two on the other.  Pull into station and a pick-up with a trailer is blocking both pumps on one side of the station.  The driver is standing on the passenger side of the truck handling another person cash from his wallet.  The other person runs into the store.  The driver glances at me and starts checking his tires and hitch.  One the other side, a pick-up is placing the nozzle into his tank to begin filling.  He sets it to auto fill on gets back into his truck.  The last pump has a SUV pumping gas.  I pull around and line up behind the SUV.  The driver of the SUV finishes her transaction and pulls away; I pull in and start my transaction.  Other cars pull in and line up between me and the truck with the trailer.    I fill my tank and complete my transaction.  The truck with the trailer is still blocking both pumps on the other side with the driver sitting in the driver seat.  His passenger walks out, comes around to the driver side window, hands him a cold drink and his change.  Then walks to the passenger side and gets in the truck.  They both open their drinks, put on their seat belts and take a drink before putting the truck into gear and starting to move.  The line behind them is now three cars long.  The pickup on my side has auto clicked off while I was filling up and the driver is sitting in his truck on his phone.  I get in my car and pull away.  The line behind me is two cars long.

This is not a full listing of all the instances I personally have encountered recently, but it is enough to paint the picture.  I do not mean to insist that a minute or two of time is even that big of a deal.  However, I do question if we, as a society have become so distracted by our phones or so discourteous, that we cannot function or consider that others are waiting as we perform our routine daily functions.

In each one of the instances I listed above the guilty knew someone was waiting.  And their behavior did not alter.  They made no effort to show any type of courtesy.

I use my phone.  I text.  I get emails, posts and tweets. I am not opposed to instant communication.  I just don’t delay others while doing it.

Now should we talk about people that talk on their phones in line at the store?

 

Okay Dude, Stop it Thursday, Sep 27 2012 

Humor and Musing and Uncategorized , , , kwlaff 3:38 pm

My husband, whom I normally refer to as my beloved husband when speaking or writing about him (sarcastic font), is driving me crazy.  He is on a business trip to Sedona, Arizona, a trip originally proposed with me tagging along.  I SO wanted to go.  However, work intervened and my availability was removed, and I could not go.  Which, from my point of view was a bummer.  BIG bummer.  BIG, BIG bummer.  So, he packed up and flew out on Tuesday.  Into a pretty and cool world of the Arizona red rocks.   That night he called to check in, telling me how great the spa style hotel was and how big the soaking tub in his room was.  Blah, Blah, Blah.

Then on Wednesday, he called to check in, telling me how great the weather was, how lovely the view was, how great the scenery was, and followed up with pictures.

View of a Sedona Rock

Really?  I’m at work each day, dealing with, well, stuff, and he’s …well, vacationing.  His check in yesterday was all about taking a drive on one of the most scenic routes available up to Flagstaff  (“gorgeous, just gorgeous”)  and enjoying the evening air on the drive back.  I’m glad he is enjoying himself, but does he have to torture me with his good fortune in the process?  Dude, stop it!

 

What’s the Deal with Age? Tuesday, Sep 25 2012 

Beginner Blogs and Elder Issues and Grandchildren and Humor and Musing , , , , , kwlaff 5:16 pm

I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking about my age.  Not because I feel old or that I am worried about my age. In fact, it is quite the opposite.  I don’t feel old, and I am not worried about my age.  I have found out recently that others appear to be worried about my age.  And I find that amusing.

All those platitudes about you are only as old as you feel and act young to stay young are things old people say.  The young people still cling to the idea that youth and acting young is for the young and  many look down their noses at someone my age (I have passed the 50 mark, but have not hit the middle of that decade) enjoying the same activities I did while in my forties or thirties.  Why would I suddenly stop liking some of the same stuff, I wonder?  But it really seems to befuddle some of the ‘grown-ups’ in that age group.

I do not have the desire to do the same things I did back then as often as I did back then, but not because I cannot.  It’s actually because my life is too busy to fit it all in, not because my advanced age makes me too tired, as the ones worrying about my age seem to imply.  My job is hectic and I shoulder more responsibility than I did during my 30’s and 40’s. I am still upwardly mobile in my career.  I upgraded my living arrangements from the average city dwelling to the home of my dreams in the country and the compute takes a bit longer, which is good in some ways and bad in others.  I have a grandchild that I adore and I spend as much time with him as I can.  I’ve bought into the whole social media scene and I’m online more than I should be.   I found out I love genealogy, and have become an addict.  (Intervention might be in my future.)  I own a second home about 4 hours away for relaxation and down time.  I have aging parents that require attention.  All that takes time, so I’ve shifted, adjusted and squeezed as much as I can into the space allotted me.  So, yes, I still do many of the ‘old’ things I used to do, just not with the same frequency that I used to do them.  And some of them are much less important as my ‘age’ (I prefer ‘wisdom’) has allowed me to determine some of those just don’t rate as high on the enjoyment meter any longer.

So bottom line, worriers, don’t worry. Yes, I’m older than I used to be.  Who isn’t?  However, just because you continue to indulge in the same activities at the same pace, and I’ve slacked off those activities, doesn’t mean I’m tired, ill or out of pace with the world.  It means my life is full of other interesting things and activities I like and people I love.  It means I’m putting my experiences to good use.  It means I am vital and alive.  It means I’m not worried.

Now where are my keys?

 

Time in a Bottle Wednesday, Jul 11 2012 

Beginner Blogs and Humor and Musing , , , kwlaff 7:02 pm

I never thought I would live this long.  Pretty simple.  Until I turned forty, I never envisioned a life after forty.  I still find it difficult to picture a future of any kind for myself.  I worry about the future for those I care about, fret about the impact their mistakes have on their future.  But my future is rarely part of the vision.

When I was about fourteen I visited a fortune-teller at a local carnival with a group of friends.  I didn’t want to spend any money on something like that, not having expendable funds like my friends had, and only gave in after the peer pressure became more than I wanted to bear. I wanted to be liked afterall.  The rest of the group received glowing fortunes involving tall, dark, handsome men, with love and riches in their futures.  I went last, hoping that interest would be lost before my money was spent, and we could move on.  But, as luck would have it, I wasn’t going to be able to talk or wait my way out of this situation and my palm was read.  The gypsy/witch/whatever she was supposed to be passed her hand and fingertips over my palm and told me to enjoy life while I had the time, as time was short.  What?  I remember thinking. What? They all get tall, dark and handsome, and I get ‘live while you can’?  The group of friends I was with all laughed and the game was over.  I was miffed my money was gone for that but happy to be part of the experience, part of the group.  And we moved on to the next ride.  Did I believe my fortune that day, let it stink in a bit, and not see a future for myself?  No, I didn’t.  I knew it was small time carnival non sense and it had no impact at all.  No one at that age pictures themselves ‘old’.  We all know that at fourteen, twenty is old.

As the years passed and the topic of the future would ripple through conversations, I began to realize, I was never in any vision of the future.  I can easily see my husband, my children, and others, but not myself.  I became more and more interested in the past and the mark one leaves on those around them.  (This is still something that interests me.)

I sometimes wonder if I have lived my life differently than I would have if I could picture myself older, living into my very senior years.  I wonder if I would have embarked on my ‘double’ life if I thought I had a happy senior life awaiting me. Or has my inability impacted anything at all?

 

Visit Monday, Jan 30 2012 

Beginner Blogs and Cancer and Elder Issues and Musing , , , kwlaff 3:26 am

We drove over to visit my brother in law yesterday.  About four hours one way.  He is not doing well, and basically we’ve been told it is just a matter of time.  His body is failing, and the main goal now is to manage the medications so he doesn’t feel any pain.  He is in a facility, what in the old days would have been called a nursing home.  He has a semi private room.   It was pretty depressing.  Not just his situation, which was awful enough, but the whole place.  The people there.  It’s not the fault of anyone, the place itself was clean and as cheery as one can make a place full of very sick or incapacitated people.  What was depressing was the craving for contact that so obviously radiated from so many of the people.  We had our 4 year old grandson with us, and most of the people at the home reacted to a child being present.  He spoke to everyone as he walked by ‘hi’ on the way to the room, ‘bye’ on the way out, he roamed the halls, he found the entertainment room, which had a pool table in it and rolled the balls into the pockets as patients watched and smiled.  A tiny bright spot in the day perhaps.

My brother in law is no longer able to move around and made no effort to do so while we were there. He drifted in and out of sleep, mainly due to the meds, and would join the conversation with a comment from time to time.  He seemed to be aware of his surroundings, and who everyone was.  But he hardly ate at all, and from what I’ve been told, that has become the norm. I won’t list all the things are are going wrong.

Diagnosis August.  That is not so long ago, and here we are.  Watching him die. Were all those years of smoking worth this? A body riddled with cancer and pain?  It is easy to say the words that smoking causes cancer.  It is not easy to see the reality.  It is not easy to see the consequences of the action.  And I am certain it is not easy to experience it first hand, as he has too.  Quit smoking.

 

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